I’m all for trying new things, but sometimes, you flat out know you’re going to hate it. Like your girlfriend and anal. Oculto was like that for me. I’m starting a bad beer review series to highlight the worst of what beer has to offer. You have to know what the problem is before you can fix it. A quick can scan revealed Oculto is brewed by macro Anheuser-Busch. Hoo boy, here we go. I can handle being wrong, so I plunked the cheesy Dia de los Muertos plastered tall boy in my cart and made my purchase proudly….with cash….and I burned the receipt…then paid the bag boy to sneak into the office and destroy the security footage….then killed the bag boy. Wait, no I didn’t.
The can proudly displays that Oculto is infused with blue agave and aged over tequila barrel staves. So you’d be forgiven for thinking that it might actually taste a bit like tequila. If it’s in there, my palate is not sensitive enough to pick up on it. Then again my palate is regularly destroyed by triple IPAs. After popping the top and drinking straight from the can (because why bother with a glass) all I could taste was an overwhelming sickly sweet flavor from the agave. It’s difficult to believe this isn’t a fruit beer. While trying to be impartial, I tried to pick up on any on other flavors or subtleties that might be masked by the initial burst of this sugary beer. There were none. Hop aroma and bitterness were absent as far as I could tell.
In my life, I’ve poured out very few beers. I’ve never even poured out a BMC before. Their lack of flavor at least make them drinkable. After a quarter can, I couldn’t choke down anymore. I was worried my dry heaves would turn into wet heaves if I forced myself to continue. Down the drain it went, fizzing up and throwing off a heavy aroma of stinky feet in defiance as it swirled down into the sewer where it likely caused a group of baby turtles to mutate and take up Kung Fu.
I honestly can’t begin to think of who this beer would appeal to. I think the BMC and craft crowds might have a rare moment of unity in saying that Oculto is a flat out bad beer. Many articles I’ve found online repeat the phrase
Oculto is designed to tap into late night occasions.
Because if you’re already drunk, you probably don’t notice how disgusting it is. I took up this Bad Beer Review posting series to shine a light on what I believe is unacceptable in the beer industry. This first dive into the unpalatable is making me question my resolve. Maybe I got lucky though and tried the worst for first? I’ve never been that lucky before, and I doubt that has suddenly changed. So should you try Oculto? A resounding yes! Simply for the fact that you can’t know what a good beer is without the bad.